Dogs in Pants

Transcript:

Alright, I’ve said some weird things on here… but this might top the list: female dogs in polyester pants. Yeah, it wasn’t a good look on them, but we learned a lot.

So researchers did a study way back in 2008 where they put polyester pants on female dogs. .  Why? To see if fabric type affected fertility. And it did. Wildly.

For a whole year, these groups of dogs wore either 100% polyester, a 50-50 cotton/poly blend, 100% cotton, 100% wool, and one last group wore nothing. And the dogs in polyester? Almost 75% of them couldn’t get pregnant—even with artificial insemination. And I’m going to steal your punchline. “Bro doesn’t know the plastic pants have to come down to get pregnant!”  I know. There were openings for elimination functions and the tail. But listen to this: Their progesterone levels dropped. Meanwhile, dogs in wool and cotton had a 100% success rate getting pregnant.

They discovered a measurable electrostatic field that formed around the reproductive organs of the dogs wearing polyester that interfered with hormone signaling. It was twice as high with 100% poly compared to the blend, but there was no such electrostatic charge on the dogs wearing cotton and wool. Imagine wearing a synthetic fabric that’s constantly buzzing with static where your hormones are trying to have a conversation. Not ideal.

Now, I’m not saying your leggings are making you infertile. But if this happens in mammals, and we are mammals… maybe it’s worth thinking about. Besides just fertility, do you know what happens when progesterone levels drop? That’s a PMS picture.  You don’t sleep well and life sucks.

And it’s not just polyester in those pants—it’s often mixed with spandex, chemically treated, and layered right over hormone-sensitive areas like your pelvis, groin, and thighs.

Natural fibers, people. Not just for tree huggers. For hormone huggers too. Let’s get smart.”

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Female dogs in polyester pants? Yep, that actually happened—and what researchers discovered might just make you rethink your wardrobe.

A 2008 study showed that polyester created an electrostatic field around hormone-sensitive areas in dogs, lowering progesterone and tanking fertility—even with artificial insemination. Meanwhile, cotton and wool? 100% pregnancy success rate.

Now, I’m not saying your leggings are making you infertile… but if it affects other mammals, and we’re mammals… you do the math.

Polyester, spandex, chemical treatments—all layered over your pelvis. Might be time to go natural. Not just for tree huggers. For hormone huggers too.